I still often wear a mask when I go out.
Yes, COVID is still around the corner. One of your friends or relatives is suffering from it. But this is not a post about wearing a mask because of covid. It’s neither about me nor someone I live with being immunocompromised. My heartiest prayers are with everyone who is doing it for those reasons.
Yet, I wear a mask often. Just because it hides my face. It gives me the power of being unidentifiable. The strength of anonymity. When I wait for the bus at the most exposed juncture of my village and I don’t have to worry about passing by curious men and women wondering who this is. I can stare back at them from the luxury of the rest of my face is covered.
When I walk around the city I don’t have to run away from familiar people as am an introvert. I struggle to maintain friendships, unable to get out of the bubble of my comfort zone. Definitely one of those many millennials who go hiding when the phone rings, instead of pings.
When WhatsApp updated with the react to a text feature I was so glad that it saved me the pain of courtesy-replying. Instagram already had it and it is always emoji reactions to rescue when you don’t really want to text a text for the sake of replying. Just because the text could open up more conversations and my moods to converse are as rare as the chances of it snowing in Chennai.
So, yes I still often wear a mask due to personality issues more than health. Mask hides my expressions leaving the other person to wonder whether I am smiling contemptuously or heartily.
Sometimes, it feels like the world wanted to actually materialise the masks we were always wearing, by breaking out a pandemic. Many of us live double or triple lives, one in front of our friends, another with parents & siblings, another with other relatives.
Being a generation with unprecedented access and exposure to information, content and communication in the digital era, there are much more gaps between our and previous generations. It’s more grey than black and white. In that sense, my reluctance to let go of the mask feels like embodying the bridges I have to carefully step on to connect my multiple lives. It’s not being hypocritical but rather, strategizing to live through without conflicts and not agonizing relations. It’s hard, of course. Often maddening. Yet there is the conviction — this understanding of differences and effort to co-exist will help to forge a space of genuine communications for the next generations. At the very least.
