Small joys and big dreams.
I belong to the generation of kids who were constantly asked, “What’s your ambition?”. At schools by teachers, in that session by a motivational speaker, in a family function by that free Gyan uncle, etc.
There were good answers—doctor, engineer, IAS officer and then the quirky but cool ones like journalist/artist/writer/social worker (parents crying in the background). The bad answer was not even saying a low paying or ‘menial’ job. It was not having an ambition.
“You must have a goal, only then you will be driven”.
“Destination must define the journey.”
We have been told this over and over. We spend our whole lives trying to get there. At first, we coach for those colleges in school, while in college we try to get placed in those companies, and then we struggle to ask for our worth’s money. Then, we hustle for power and try to prove how updated we are, as the industry has advanced. Then, we hustle to exercise that power and still look for more—power and money.
In between, there will be emotionally blissful but also wrecking relationships, dreaming about retirement, vacations you wanted or wished to extend, people you missed, experiences you couldn’t have, things you regret.
“The road not taken” by Robert Frost is just a poem to read and write about in exams at schools. If we pick a road not that taken in real life, even those who praise the poem wouldn’t stand by us. Career anxiety is real. Well, almost all of us know it. With social media to put out both our personal and professional lives, we constantly compare ourselves with others even when we know how unhealthy and senseless it is. We are us, they are them… We came through our own unique situations and we are the products of many factors.
While they say if you are nervous about it, it means you care about it…. Too much nervousness is never good. It makes us more scared, underconfident to take risk and hesitant to put ourselves out there. Trying to do, is also an act of doing.
The more obsessed we are with just reaching the destination, the more we miss out on the journey. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? We will die trying. But, what is the point if all we do is struggle? Life should also be about not leaving regrets, living to the fullest as much as one can.
Here’s where small joys matter. Some of my favourite of these things are:
- Going for slow leisure walks. Increasingly, when we see walks as only as exercises they might sometimes take away the pleasure of the activity. Instead, sometimes I go for walks just for the fun of walking. I walk slowly, looking around at the trees, leaves, trash on the road, people, vehicles. Sometimes I sit on a bench and close my eyes.
2. Roasting makhana in ghee, salt and masala. There’s a lot of joy in cooking but roasting makhana, one of my favourite snacks is special. The smell of them roasting in ghee and constantly crunching one to check the texture… it’s fulfilling.
3. Learning a new language. I have been trying to learn Spanish on Duolingo and Kannada on YouTube and St.Broseph organized classes. I do a little everyday and it has become a beautiful routine plus a very satisfying activity.
4. Smiling to (I know it’s ‘at’ but I prefer ‘to’) people. While I understand this won’t be suitable anywhere everywhere, there are plenty of spaces where we can freely pass a smile without any problems. Whether they smile back or not, the act of us passing a smile does create a sense of happiness in us no matter how brief it is.
5. Watching funny videos.
From the accident staging squirrel to the most favourite old malayalam movie or English TV series, funny videos get me. Yes, sometimes I do get badly caught in it and my small joy of humour turns to big nightmare of video addiction. So I have been trying to be mindful about my share of memes and comedy. I’m hoping this will help me process a few things with better quality and understand them deeply rather than watching a lot and understand nothing.
Small joys, everyday happiness keep us sane. Our relationship with self and with others find stability in that daily doses of good feelings. Hence, while we struggle to create the larger picture of life, let’s not forget that it is the tiny pieces which form the very puzzle.
